I Call This Breakfast!

The alarm clock ripping me from my sweet coma that washes away all my worries, flings me straight into the brick wall that is life. I guess my day has begun. I wake in the same room I do every day, this green prison I call refuge.
I slide from under my rose colored sheets and place my feet on a pile of cloths. I seriously don’t remember the last time I cleaned this place, I swim in a sea of old socks and pants I’ve never seen before. I tell myself week after week that I will take time to make this room immaculate, yet it never seems to get done. I dodge the land mines of belt buckles and other metal assortments, I stumble through a fog of fatigue, I’ve only slept for 4 hours.
I make my way to the bathroom, which is fourteen feet away and commence in the ritualistic urination ceremony which occurs everyday, close to one of the best feelings on earth. My mouth a desert of my body, my rasping voice yearns for the sweet embrace of water, the essence of life, so pure; I do not deserve this elixir, water has been taken for granted for too long. I do appreciate living so time to drench my mouth. Standing there in my naked splendor I had an Epiphany!
I realized exactly what I was going to do without a doubt in my mind. Nothing had ever been as clear to me as this moment. I was going to ravage my kitchen with culinary precision, I WAS GOING TO MAKE FRENCH TOAST! Nothing else will do; this moment was made for those half inch thick pieces of heaven.
The time has come to gather my ingredients, the simplest of combinations, Eggs, Milk, Butter, and Bread. As they say “genius is to simplify the complicated.” It has come to the moment were I must orchestrate my finest pieces. I was to work that range like a true culinary master. I had my implements so I slaved, for many minutes I slaved, and I then take a deep sigh of relief. I had finished my art.
It is so aesthetically pleasing I nearly drop to my knees and weep, I gaze upon the golden mountain of erotic pleasure, however, something is missing. This moment is so perfect I mustn’t ruin it with one pawn in the wrong place.
I hear her calling me, I know what has gone awry, and again I hear her call to me from the cupboard, I must go to her and grasp her firmly in my hands. This woman has pleasured me more times than I deserve. She has been there for me since I had the ability to eat. Aunt Jemima, you most certainly have been good to me. I slide her sleek, glossy self from the reformatory she has been confined to for so long. I stare strait into her lovely brown eyes and for some reason I hallucinate her winking at me.
I accompany her to the table where I will enjoy this marvelous meal. Aunt Jemima sits with me in wonder, I apologize to her in my mind, yet never speak the words. I grasp her stiff exterior and begin to detach her cranium. She knows this must be done so she doesn’t resist. I speak to her, “I will always love you, till the next time I see you in the grocery store, I bid you Farwell.” I begin to pour her succulent innards all over my perfect creation. The field is set and it is game time. Fork in hand, I prepare myself, I look at my creation in amazement, look what I have done you masters of this realm. You are not the only ones who can create!
A bead of sweat drips from my forehead, what am I about to do? I cannot defile something so scared as this; it is on the same level as destroying a national monument. I raise my fork to the ready, I look at my hand then the plate, then my hand then my plate, I close my eyes and my hand falls like a guillotine. It cleaves threw the mound with gruesome meticulousness. I lift the matter to my watering mouth, it slides in smooth and I melt.
OH my word! It’s so good! I moan like a tramp hard at work. My parents stare at me with emotional distress. I quite myself and commence with the rest of the mountain. Again and again I cleave. Aunt Jemima’s gizzards fly about on a wild course. After 15 minutes of malicious intent, I have finished my duty.
My artwork is gone and I sit satisfied.
This is my breakfast, how was yours?

Written by Corey Burns, my son.


((My son was about 19 when he wrote this. I always told my son to live in every moment and enjoy each moment to the fullest. I asked him not to miss out on the small pleasures life offers us.
My son is now 23; he just showed this to me, I never new he took me seriously.))

I AM THANKFUL

We all have so much to be thankful for ..
We just need to be reminded once in awhile :-D

I AM THANKFUL:
For the wife who says it’s hot dogs tonight, because she is home with me, and not out with someone else.

I AM THANKFUL:
For the husband who is on the sofa being a couch potato, because he is home with me, and not out at the bars.

I AM THANKFUL:
For the teenager who is complaining about doing dishes because it means she is at home, and not running the streets.

I AM THANKFUL:
For the taxes I pay because it means I am employed!

I AM THANKFUL:
For the mess to clean after a party because it means I have been surrounded by friends.

I AM THANKFUL:
For the cloths that fit a little to snug because it means I have enough to eat.

I AM THANKFUL:
For my shadow that watches me work because it means I am out in the sunshine.

I AM THANKFUL:
For the lawn that needs mowing, windows that need cleaning, and gutter that need fixing because it means I have a home.

I AM THANKFUL:
For all the complaining I hear about the Government because it means we have freedom of speech.

I AM THANKFUL:
For the parking spot I find at the far end of the parking lot because it means I am capable of walking and I have been blessed with transportation.

I AM THANKFUL:
For my huge heating bill because it means I am warm.

I AM THANKFUL:
For the lady behind me in church who sings off key because it means I can hear.

I AM THANKFUL:
For the pile of laundry and ironing because it means I have clothes to wear.

I AM THANKFUL:
For the weariness and aching muscles at the end of the day because it means I have been capable of working hard.

I AM THANKFUL:
For the alarm that goes off in the morning because it means I am alive.

AND I AM THANKFUL:
FOR THE crazy people I work with because they make work interesting and fun!

AND FINALLY, FOR TOO MUCH E-MAIL !!!
BECAUSE ? IT MEANS I HAVE FRIENDS WHO ARE THINKING OF ME.

Live well, Laugh often, & Love with all of your heart!

This site is listed in Craig's Directory">

YOU'LL LOVE THIS ONE.

HAVE YOU EVER BEEN GUILTY OF LOOKING AT OTHERS YOUR OWN AGE AND THINKING, SURELY I CAN'T LOOK THAT OLD..
WELL . .
MY NAME IS ALICE; AND I WAS SITTING IN THE WAITING ROOM FOR MY FIRST APPOINTMENT WITH A NEW DENTIST.
I NOTICED HIS DDS DIPLOMA ON THE WALL, WHICH BORE HIS FULL NAME. SUDDENLY, I REMEMBERED A TALL, HANDSOME, DARK-HAIRED BOY WITH THE SAME NAME HAD BEEN IN MY HIGH SCHOOL CLASS SOME 30-ODD YEARS AGO.
COULD HE BE THE SAME GUY THAT I HAD A SECRET CRUSH ON, WAY BACK THEN?
UPON SEEING HIM, HOWEVER, I QUICKLY DISCARDED ANY SUCH THOUGHT.
THIS BALDING, GRAY-HAIRED MAN WITH THE DEEPLY LINED FACE WAS WAY TOO OLD TO HAVE BEEN MY CLASSMATE.
AFTER HE EXAMINED MY TEETH, I ASKED HIM IF HE HAD ATTENDED MORGAN PARK HIGH SCHOOL.
'YES. YES, I DID. I'M A MUSTANG,' HE GLEAMED WITH PRIDE.
WHEN DID YOU GRADUATE?' I ASKED.
HE ANSWERED, 'IN 1975. WHY DO YOU ASK?'
‘YOU WERE IN MY CLASS!' I EXCLAIMED.
HE LOOKED AT ME CLOSELY.
THEN, THAT UGLY,
OLD,
BALD,
WRINKLED FACED,
FAT-ASSED,
GRAY-HAIRED,
DECREPIT
SON-OF-A-BITCH
ASKED,




'WHAT DID YOU TEACH?’

True Story - Burglaries increasing dramatically

If you have ever used an electric fence or know someone who has one you should read this
The language used is a bit smutty and/or course, but 'he tells it like it is' without cursing.

If you don't laugh hysterically at this,...CHECK YOUR PULSE...this is funny....and true. This was sent by a retired dentist.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

We have the standard 6 ft. fence in the backyard, and a few months ago, I heard about burglaries increasing dramatically in the entire city. To make sure this never happened to me, I got an electric fence and ran a single wire along the top of the fence.

Actually, I got the biggest cattle charger Tractor Supply had, made for 26 miles of fence. I then used an 8 ft. long ground rod, and drove it 7.5 feet into the ground. The ground rod is the key, with the more you have in the ground, the better the fence works.

One day I'm mowing the back yard with my cheapo Wal-Mart 6 hp big wheel push mower. The hot wire is broken and laying out in the yard. I knew for a fact that I unplugged the charger. I pushed the mower around the wire and reached down to grab it, to throw it out of the way.

It seems as though I hadn't remembered to unplug it after all.

Now I'm standing there, I've got the running lawnmower in my right hand and the 1.7 giga-volt fence wire in the other hand. Keep in mind the charger is about the size of a marine battery and has a picture of an upside down cow on fire on the cover.

Time stood still.

The first thing I notice is my pecker trying to climb up the front side of my body. My ears curled downwards and I could feel the lawnmower ignition firing in the backside of my brain. Every time that Briggs & Stratton rolled over, I could feel the spark in my head. I was literally at one with the engine.

It seems as though the fence charger and the piece of crap lawnmower was fighting over who would control my electrical impulses.

Science says you cannot crap, pee, and vomit at the same time. I beg to differ. Not only did I do all three at once, but also my bowels emptied 3 different times in less than half of a second. It was a Matrix kind of bowel movement, where time is creeping along and you're all leaned back and BAM BAM BAM you just crap your pants 3 times. It seemed like there were minutes in between but in reality it was so close together it was like exhaust pulses from a big block Chevy turning 8 grand.

At this point I'm about 30 minutes (maybe 2 seconds) into holding onto the fence wire. My hand is wrapped around the wire palm down so I can't let go. I grew up on a farm so I know all about electric fences ... but Dad always had those pieces of crap chargers made by International or whoever that were like 9 volts and just kinda tickled.

This one I could not let go of. The 8 foot long ground rod is now accepting signals from me through the permadamp Ark-La-Tex river bottom soil. At this point I'm thinking I'm going to have to just man up and take it, until the lawnmower runs out of gas.

'Darn!,' I think, as I remember I just filled the tank!

Now the lawnmower is starting to run rough. It has settled into a loping run pattern as if it had some kind of big lawnmower race cam in it. Covered in poop, pee, and with my vomit on my chest I think 'Oh God please die .... Pleeeeaze die'. But nooooo, it settles into the rough lumpy cam idle nicely and remains there, like a big bore roller cam EFI motor waiting for the go command from its owner's right foot.

So here I am in the middle of July, 104 degrees, 80% humidity, standing in my own backyard, begging God to kill me. God did not take me that day .... He left me there covered in my own fluids to writhe in the misery my own stupidity had created.

I honestly don't know how I got loose from the wire ...

I woke up laying on the ground hours later. The lawnmower was beside me, out of gas. It was later on in the day and I was sunburned.

There were two large dead grass spots where I had been standing, and then another long skinny dead spot where the wire had laid while I was on the ground still holding on to it. I assume I finally had a seizure and in the resulting thrashing had somehow let go of the wire.

Upon waking from my electrically induced sleep I realized a few things:

1 - Three of my teeth seem to have melted.

2 - I now have cramps in the bottoms of my feet and my right butt cheek (not the left, just the right).

3 - Poop, pee, and vomit when all mixed together, do not smell as bad as you might think.

4 - My left eye will not open.

5 - My right eye will not close.

6 - The lawnmower runs like a sumbitch now. Seriously! I think our little session cleared out some carbon fouling or something, because it was better than new after that.

7 - My nuts are still smaller than average yet they are almost a foot long.

8 - I can turn on the TV in the game room by farting while thinking of the number 4 (still don't understand this???).

That day changed my life. I now have a newfound respect for things. I appreciate the little things more, and now I always triple check to make sure the fence is unplugged before I mow.

The good news is that if a burglar does try to come over the fence, I can clearly visualize what my security system will do to him, and THAT gives me a warm and fuzzy feeling all over, which also reminds me to triple check before I mow.

E-mail I Received and I Love it!

Everyone concentrates on the problems we're having in this country lately:
illegal immigration, hurricane recovery, alligators attacking people in Florida ...

Not me. I concentrate on solutions for the problems. It's a win-win situation.

+ Dig a moat the length of the Mexican border.

+ Send the dirt to New Orleans to raise the level of the levies.

+ Put the Florida alligators in the moat along the Mexican border.

Any other problems you would like me to solve today? Yes!

Think about this one:

1. Cows
2. The Constitution
3. The Ten Commandments

COWS
Is it just me, or does anyone else find it amazing that during the mad cow epidemic our government could track a single cow, born in Canada almost three years ago, right to the stall where she slept in the state of Washington? And, they tracked her calves to their stalls. But they are unable to locate 11 million illegal aliens wandering around our country. Maybe we should give each of them a cow.

THE CONSTITUTION
They keep talking about drafting a Constitution for Iraq ... Why don't we just give them ours? It was written by a lot of really smart guys, it has worked for over 200 years, and we're not using it anymore.

THE 10 COMMANDMENTS
The real reason that we can't have the Ten Commandments posted in a courthouse is this:
You cannot post 'Thou Shalt Not Steal,' 'Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery,' and 'Thou Shall Not Lie' in a building full of lawyers, judges and politicians... It creates a hostile work environment.

PART OF THE PROBLEM
Also, Think about this: If you don't want to forward this for fear of offending someone...
YOU ARE PART OF THE PROBLEM!

It is Time for America to Speak up!

**Unknown Author**

Can I Get HIM back, if He said HE needs More Space?

Almost everyone has experienced a powerful relationship in their life, when suddenly everything which seems so perfect is broken off because your boyfriend wants space. There are a number of different reasons for why a boyfriend may suddenly need space, including family problems, insecurities, or a fear of commitment just to name a few. Here are some tips for answering the age old "how to get my ex back" question if your ex boyfriend needs more space.

- You are not going to want to lose your pride, or to allow him to get the best of you - But clearly you are still in love with him. It may be ideal to play a little bit hard to get at first, in order to show him that yes, it was his loss and not your own.

- If you are feeling like your ex boyfriend still has feelings for you, then it may be ideal for you to strike up a conversation with him. Keep communication to a minimum in order to keep the level of drama to a minimum. Short but pleasant text messages, brief phone calls - like, maybe a joke you heard, and online conversations in passing are all a great ways to remind him how much he wants to be a part of your life without overwhelming him with your presence when he may actually want and need space.

- Eventually he will begin to show significant interest in you again if all goes well, and this will give you the chance to truly begin to reminisce with him. Keep in mind that you should focus primarily on all of the GOOD memories associated with your relationship in the past. While rekindling a relationship with your ex boyfriend, you are going to want to stay away from the bad experiences and negative experiences in case they conjure bad feelings and undo your hard work.

- If your boyfriend is not responding to your slow and subtle advances, you need to take it for what it is. Either he just really is not interested in you right now, or he really does just need space and you should give it to him. But if on the other hand he seems to be interested in you more than before, or is slowly warming up to you again, then you should continue gradually advancing on him to rekindle the relationship.

- If your ex boyfriend is giving you the right signals, you can try to open your heart up to him. Let him know how you feel, but avoid looking desperate or needy in the process. If your ex is showing you that he is thinking about rekindling things, then it would be healthy to be open with him. But if his signals are pointing in the other direction, it may be wiser to step back and let things happen more naturally.

There are many small things you can do in order to build on what you already have with your ex boyfriend, so get the help you need in order to be successful in your love life with this man. All the help you need is available here

Do You Want to Stop Your Divorce - Are You Sure?

If you have made your mind up, and it's something you are 100% sure about. Then yes you can stop your divorce. However, you saying “I want to stop my divorce" and then actually doing something about it is a whole different ball game. Stopping your divorce can be a hard fight that may go 12 rounds or longer. So that is why it's important for you to be 100% sure this is what you want to do.

First thing you should do is tell your partner. Let your partner know how you feel and what you want to do. You have to do that first or everything else you try will be for naught. Not to mention if you both feel the same way then the two of you can stop paying those lawyers and save some money.

For your marriage to be the state it is in, you both are going to have to change. You can't expect things to stay the same and expect your marriage to be ok. It doesn't work this way, you can't have your cake and eat it too. I'm sure that is some of the reason your relationship is the way it is.

One suggestion is for you and your partner to make a list. Let's call the list 10 things I hate about you. However, on the flip end of that, write a list called the 10 things I love about you. I know, it may seem kind of silly, but this is a great way to start to communicate again. The two of you need to remember, these are your feelings and they should be respected no matter how much you disagree or if their list hurts your feelings, your must respect it.

If both of you can learn from the list you just made; then the two of you are on the right track. Communicating is the key to any relationship. That is not just a saying, it is a fact. Too many times people forget how to communicate and by the time they realize what is going on, someone is calling a lawyer.

However, instead of calling a lawyer, the two of you should have called a counselor. A relationship counselor can help a marriage so much. Sometimes it takes a person from the outside to make sense of a situation that is usually kept on the inside. However, this is something the both of you have to want to do. Also the both of you need to believe that this will help your marriage.

Now this is just the beginning of the fight, However, you did say "I want to stop my divorce?". If you follow this advice then you will be on the right track. So yes you can stop your divorce, just fight for what you want and what you love. That should be reason enough to stop your divorce.

Can I Get HIM Back if HE has Moved on?

Have you lost your boyfriend, and are now asking for help on "how to get my ex back when he's moved on'? Don't bother moping, because what you have lost does not mean you have lost it forever. Here are some quick and simple tips for learning how to get your ex back even if he has moved on to another woman and no longer appears to be interested in associating with you.

1 - The first step to getting the man of your dreams back is finding a way to convince him that he still wants you. Unless he really, really does not want anything to do with you, then there are a number of options that you can employ from this point on.

2 - One of the most advantageous things that you can do is simply to be his friend. Be a really good friend to him, show him that you understand him and that you can be around him without creating any drama. Show him that you can joke around with him and have a healthy friendship with him. When the drama and stress of the relationship and breakup have subsided, he may realize that he wants you again.Let him know he can call you for anything, and you must be there for him when he does call.

3 - When you communicate with your ex boyfriend, be sweet and kind to him but don't be afraid to have a little bit (tiny) of attitude. You are going to want him to want you, but you're also going to want to give him the feeling that he cannot have you just yet. While playing games is not the best way to go, you do not want give an air of hard to get, making him more interested in the process.

4 - You should be playing a little bit hard to get, but you also want to make sure that he knows you ARE available. You shouldn't completely rule out the concept of flirting and hanging out with friends, because drumming up a little bit of jealousy never hurt anyone - But it is important that you play it safe because if he doesn't think you are available, he probably will not find the motivation to pursue you.

5 - Avoid acting desperate at all costs. If you act desperate, your ex boyfriend will under estimate you. You are going to want to play things cool, letting him know that you are okay with everything that has happened, and that you are willing to move on. If you act desperate, things won't work out the way you are intending them to, so avoid doing this at all costs.

6 - Any time that you know he is looking at you, or if you feel like he is looking at you, look at him out of the corner of your eye. This sidelong glance will let him know that you are paying attention to him, but in a mysterious "you can't have me" kind of way.

7 - Casually remind him of some of the best times that you have had together. These good memories will help him to remember how good the two of you used to be together. Don't bring up ANY bad memories, because it will only remind him of the hurt, which will not do you any good.

8- Your ex needs know that you understand him, that you sympathize with him if necessary and you are truly concerned and interested in his well being. You will be able to find all of this within you if you truly love this man, and honestly want him back.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps you must take.

You must have a plan to rekindle his love for you - You can find that plan Right Here

Winning Your Ex Girlfriend Back

If you are wondering how you can get back with your ex girlfriend, the first thing that you need to understand is that this is a very delicate situation. Your feelings may be hurt, and her feelings may also be hurt - And it is important that you are careful about what you're doing accordingly, otherwise feelings may be hurt even worse.

Here are the considerations that you need to make when it comes to figuring out how to get back with your ex girlfriend.

1 - First and foremost, what was it that you did in order to cause the break up? Girls do not break up with guys completely out of the blue, so there is probably a really good reason behind the action even if you are not immediately aware of what it is. The first step in this process has to be to figure out what went wrong, whether or not it could have been prevented, and how can you can fix it now that you know what it is.

2 - If the break up with your ex girlfriend was entirely your fault, then the first thing that you need to do to help rekindle things is to let your ex girlfriend know that you recognize what happened, you recognize that it was your fault, and that you are sorry for your actions and the unintended consequences.

3 - You should continue to socialize with other people, even though you are trying to court your ex again. Just because you and your ex are not in contact right now, that does not mean that you need to cut yourself off from the rest of the world. You should date another girl, or at least go out and have some fun with your friends. It may even work to your advantage for you to cause some (some) jealousy in your ex partner if you really do want to get them back. But be very careful when dating another, you should not cause too much jealousy, keep dates platonic, if your ex believes that you are intimate with another woman you can seriously damage any chance of rekindling your relationship with her.

4 - Show your ex that you are moving on, but you also need to show her that you still care about her. This is the most ideal way to eventually get her back. Let her know that you have not completely moved on, and that you still have feelings for her, and this will make you appear more mature to her, and more desirable as well.

5 - Finally, it is important that you work hard to become friends with your ex again. This will build trust, and will help to make you closer to one another.

Afterwards, you should ask her why you broke up in the first place, but be casual about it rather than appearing desperate. She will either admit that it was a mistake that the two of you broke up, or she will let you know that the break up was for the better. Once you have an answer, you can proceed from there.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. Getting your ex to see you are sincere is going to take some effort on your part. You will need a plan of action, in order to rebuild your love.
No one is taught the steps necessary to work on keeping a relationship together or how to rebuild the love lost.
Get the Information you need Right Here.

Can I Get My Ex Girlfriend Back?

If you’re wondering, “Can I get my ex girlfriend back?” then the breakup probably wasn’t so devastating that you think the relationship can’t be saved. You’ll have to hope she feels the same way. If any hurt was caused during the split that you should apologize for, now’s the time to say you’re sorry. Being sorry and sincerely showing it is a good first step.

Can I get my ex girlfriend back by showing my sensitive side?

Well, there’s no guarantee you’ll get back together, but the odds tilt more and more in your favor when you do things right. Show her how much you miss her, and how sorry you are. Just pay attention to what she does. If your gestures of sorrow only make her angry—she throws away the roses or something dramatic like that, for example—change your tactics until you find that something she responds to.

If flowers or cards frustrate her, for example, maybe that’s because it’s easy to pick up the phone and order flowers or buy a card someone else wrote. Try putting yourself in her shoes and try to figure out something more appealing. Buy a blank card and write your own verse in it. It doesn’t have to rhyme, in fact it’s better if it doesn’t. Try to honestly express how you feel. Or pick flowers and present her with a bouquet you put together yourself.

A common complaint among women is that men aren’t thoughtful. Were you thoughtful during the relationship? Now you might be wondering, can I get my ex girlfriend back by being thoughtful? Not necessarily, but it’s one more step toward your goal of getting her back. Every positive thing stacks up, making it easier and easier for her to come back to you. Don’t expect things to happen right away, though.

If you spent your relationship rarely doing thoughtful things, or you only did them in the beginning, she’ll probably doubt the things you do now. Just be patient, and keep up your efforts. Don’t appear frustrated or angry. Do the thoughtful things because it feels good to make her happy, not because you’re working toward a goal.

Can I get my ex girlfriend back by dating other women?

If it’s been a long time since the breakup, and you’re still working on being thoughtful, a casual date seems harmless and may make her wish she was your date, but go too far and it could backfire.

Can I get my ex girlfriend back if she has a boyfriend?

The odds are against it, but if you can show her that she’ll be happier with you than the new boyfriend you’ll have a good chance. Being thoughtful will go a long way toward showing her that. Even if it seems hopeless, don’t give up.

If it appears she’s moved on, still send her a card you wrote just wishing her a great week. But don’t look as if you have any expectations. Your thoughtfulness might really impress her.

One other thing my friend, the points made above, are only just one step in the equation of getting your true love back. The important thing is to have a step by step plan that will lead you in your heartfelt pursuit.Find that plan here

Heartbroken? You Want HIM Back - BE NICE!!!

If you’ve just been through a breakup, you’re probably wondering, ‘Can I get my ex boyfriend back?” at least several times a day. Every relationship is different, so every break up is different. But there are some things you can do to help get him back.

BE NICE!!!

That might go without saying, but some people think nagging is the best way to get what they want. It’s not. If you nag, complain or act unpleasant, you’re just reminding him of things he wants to get away from. If you make things uncomfortable every time you see him, he’ll only want to see you less and less.

The last thing you want to do is drive him farther away. Be as pleasant as you can whenever you’re around him, unless the only way to do so is to be absolutely fake.

If you’re wondering, can I get my ex boy friend back by pretending to be this way or that way? Then you have to wonder why you want to be back with him anyway. You might be better off finding someone who doesn’t make you need to pretend.

If you can be pleasant, then whatever problems you had before the breakup probably don’t seem nearly as important now. You might find yourself wondering why you weren’t more pleasant when you were together.

You can’t change the past, but do remember that later when you’re back together. Point it out to him, and let him know that you did take him for granted. He probably took you for granted too, but don’t expect him to admit it now.

Some other things you might be thinking of trying could either be disastrous or they could work in your favor.

Can I get my ex boyfriend back if he has a girlfriend?

This is probably the hardest situation to overcome. Not only is it difficult to be alone with him if he has someone else, he’s focused on the new relationship. You’re part of the past, and not a priority. Being nice right now is crucial. You have to make him see how wonderful you are and how much he’s missing.

Can I get my ex boyfriend back by trickery?

No matter what kind of deception you’re thinking of, even if it doesn’t seem harmful—forget it now. Even the most innocent-seeming lie or exaggeration could backfire later. What’s the point of figuring out how to get him back only to lose him a little while later because he finds out about your dishonesty?

Can I get my ex boyfriend back by making him jealous?

It’s possible, but it could also backfire and make him think you’ve moved on. If you really feel the need to date, then do so if you need that to be happy.

But if you’re considering going out with someone just to make your ex jealous, that’s not really fair to your date, or you. Games like this usually don’t work. Be honest with yourself and others, and you stand a better chance of getting back together with your ex.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas.

T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for me.
Get The Magic

What Should I Do to Get My Ex Back- Don’t play games

When you break up with someone you love, you go through lots of painful emotions. You feel sad, depressed and hurt, and you miss them. “What should I do to get my ex back?” becomes a question you constantly ask yourself.

There are many websites, books, blogs, forums and even courses designed to answer the question, what should I do to get my ex back? But common sense can really make a difference after a breakup. And common courtesy can go long way toward healing your relationship.

If you’re preoccupied with your lost relationship, wondering “what should I do to get my ex back?” then follow this simple advice. You’ll give yourself the best chance of getting back together with that special someone.

Don’t play games. This is very important, but unfortunately many people resort to this during breakups because it gives them a sense of power. If you can make the other person think that you don’t care, or you care more than you really do, you’re manipulating them and that can feel great. But it won’t feel great for long.

Eventually you’ll realize that lying and tricking the other person isn’t a good feeling. And anything good that happens because of it will always be sullied a little because of the lie.

Some people play games where they pretend to be dating someone else, or they pretend to be in love with someone else. This is a ploy to make the ex jealous. While it does work now and then, other times it makes the breakup permanent because it backfires.

Your ex could be so jealous at the thought of you being with someone else that they want you back. Or they could decide that since you moved on so quickly, you don’t really care about them anyway. You have no way of knowing which way this ploy will work until it’s too late.

Don’t be mean. This holds true in any situation or any relationship, but sometimes the anger around a breakup makes us act more viciously than we normally might. Even if you’re hurt, the fact that you want to know, ‘What should I do to get my ex back?” shows that you’re ready to forgive that person. If you couldn’t, you wouldn’t want your ex back, you’d be glad it was over.

Now, think about how you’ve been acting. If you were your ex, would you look forward to spending time with you or talking to you? Or would you dread each time? Do you shout and nag? Even if you feel like raising all kinds of arguments, simply don’t. Work very hard at controlling your anger and hurt, and being a person they can miss.

“What should I do to get my ex back?” Be on your best behavior and make your ex remember what drew them to you in the first place. They’ll remember your good points and will miss them. Then you’ll have a better chance of being able to get back together with your ex.

These are just the beginning steps in winning your Ex back. They are the initial steps I followed when I lost the love of my life. And frankly these aren't my original ideas. I turned to T 'Dub' Jackson when I had no idea of how to get my true love back.

T 'Dub' authored a simple, down to earth step by step plan called "The Magic Of Making Up". And you know, it worked like magic for us. Now we are more in love than ever.
The Magic of Making Up

Understanding the Break Up with HER and What to do Next?

Most people find themselves asking "What can I do to get my ex girlfriend back" following a breakup. They begin to start thinking and philosophizing about everything that could have been done differently. They even begin to make plans about apology letters and other things that might be able to help them score their relationship back.

This tends to be a dead end for one reason above all else: Because you can never really tell what the real reasons were behind a breakup. Women become emotional and sometimes they do not even know what led to the break up at hand and they may not know what is making them feel the way they do. In many circumstances it is only harmful to lose all your energy trying to figure out what went wrong.

The first main strategy to answer the question about "what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back" is to forget about the relationship for a while, putting your energy into something else. Go out, make friends, have fun, network, and forget about women in general. Set some realistic goals about expanding your repertoire when it comes to seduction and meeting people.

Give yourself a couple of months and make changes in your life. Take some time away from your ex and it will work wonders.

The effect that strategies like this will have, is that it will allow you to make gradual changes in your life. And in how you perceive the subject of relationships. After a few months, you may have a much better idea of how you want to proceed with your ex.

Do you still want to get back together with her? Or are you ready to move on? Act accordingly. If you still want to get back together with her, it might be time to figure out how she is feeling about you.

Now is your chance to be a little more direct when it comes to getting your ex girlfriend back. You need to play strategically, however. Do not simply beg her to get back with you, because this is not a good time to be emotional.

Instead, what you should be doing is playing things cool with your ex. If you have spent enough time apart from her, she is probably missing you as badly as you are missing her. Play hard to get a little (don't over do it) and show her that you are doing fine without her. This will inspire her to really rethink things.

And if getting back together with your ex really is meant to be, now is the time when it will become apparent. Be careful not to analyze things too much, because over analyzing may prevent you from acting the right way when trying to figure out "what can I do to get my ex girlfriend back". Just take things slow and play them cool and you should be fine.
What to do Next

3 Steps/How to get back with Your ex: 1 Accept the Break Up!

Have you just recently experienced a break up, and you are wondering "how can I get back together with my ex”? You may want to score your ex back immediately, and this is a common feeling that everyone experiences.

You can find yourself following into an emotionally depressed state, and you may find yourself wondering what to do. You may immediately feel like calling your ex and begging him or her to come back to you. But is this really going to make things better?
Rather than make things better, what it is probably going to do is make your situation much worse, chasing your ex away even further.

What you should actually do at this point is the opposite of what you are feeling. Do you feel like calling your ex? Don't! Do you feel like staying inside and crying all day long? Don't! Instead, follow these three basic steps and you will have the answer that you need to the age old question "How do I get back together with my ex?"

Step 1 - How to get back with your ex: Accept the Break Up!

First and foremost, you need to accept that the break up is happening. Tell your ex that you are okay with it, and allow the "moving on" process to begin/. When you do this, it will eliminate a large amount of the tension and stress that is being experienced by all. Your ex will need time to think about the relationship, and this will give you time as well to consider your options. If your ex realizes that he or she still loves you, they will find a way to get back with you.

Step 2 - How to get back with your ex: Do not contact your ex!

Do not make an effort to contact your ex anymore right now. You should cut communication off with him or her so that there can be some "thinking time". This may seem counterintuitive, but by cutting communication off you are signaling that you have already moved on and that you are doing just fine.

This will allow him or her to think about the relationship and how they feel about its value. It will also allow them to have some time to miss you again. When you can separate yourself from your ex and can calm your nerves, that may be the best time to let them realize how important you were to them.

Step 3 - How to get back with your ex: Plan Ahead for the Get Together

Once you have completed the two steps mentioned just above, you can start working on planning on when you should meet, where you should meet, and also what should be said when you do meet up again. What to Say

This will allow you to get a better idea of whether or not your ex still loves you, and also if there is any chance that you and your ex will be able to get back together.

"How to get back with my ex?" Can be a little more complicated than the three steps above. But they are a good start and will improve your chances of winning your ex back.
Powerful Plan of Action

The Secret To Make Your Ex Return Your Call

Hi,

Are there 'magic' words you can use to get your ex to return your phone calls?

Sounds hard to believe but there ARE words that will nearly cast a spell and make your ex feel almost compelled to return your call.

Cool huh?...

I am going to share this with you because this is one of the biggest questions I get
from people just like you that are trying to put their relationship back together.

So I am going to answer..."How do I get my ex to return my phone call, text or IM?"

********************************
BUT...WARNING!
********************************
If you use this technique alone, without an 'overall' plan or strategy...you may
damage your relationship more than if they never returned your call.

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What NOT to Say!
********************************

Before we get into the actual words, let's go over what message almost NEVER
works. And worse...Puts you in an AWFUL 'psychological' position. These usually fall into 2 categories.

The PLEAD- Where the message sounds like "John, please, please call me. This is the 3rd time I have called. I HAVE to talk to you."

And the EMERGENCY- "Cindy, this is an emergency. Please call me as soon as you get this."

Now, I think you can see what is wrong with both of those approaches? So, I won't go on and on...

********************************************************
How To Use Curiosity & Self Interest To Your Advantage
********************************************************

Two of the most powerful forces in the human mind are:

*Curiosity & *Self Interest

And here's the BIG SECRET!

When you combine the two, you have a recipe that WILL work 'magic' So...

Let's look at what you can say that works nearly EVERY TIME. In a friendly tone:

"Hi John. It's Cindy. I wanted to let you know I appreciate what you did for me. Call me because I want to thank you in person."

Do you see how that uses BOTH curiosity and self interest?

John will NOT be able to resist! "What did I do?" "What does she appreciate?" he will be thinking. And he feels good because it is a positive message.

Now...

Before you call you need to do the "Set Up"...which is figuring out what he/she did that you appreciate.

It can be any small thing...but needs to be plausible.

But more importantly...

*****************************
2nd WARNING!
*****************************

Please have an underlying strategy like I lay out HERE

If you apply this technique with no underlying strategy and they call you back you can do more DAMAGE than good if you do not handle it correctly.

Okay?

What I am saying is...

What you do before, during and after you get them to return your call is MORE important than getting them to return your call.

Make sense?

Have a PLAN! You Can Find it Here

I'm Rooting For You!

How Can I Get HIM Back?

Sacrifice and compromise are both critical parts in the give and take that goes hand in hand with any relationship. If you are asking "How can I get back together with my ex boyfriend?" then you are going to need to keep these things in mind. Nothing is going to make mending a broken relationship simple, but some of the advice contained within this article can certainly make it a lot less difficult overall to give him a reason to want to come back to you.

So while you may be obsessing with the all important question, "how can I get back together with my ex boyfriend?", what you need to be focusing on is rectifying the causes of failure. By doing so you will be able to eliminate the tension and stress which brought the split on in the first place.

So, How can I get back together with my ex boyfriend, you ask?

When a relationship fails, you need to take that as an indication that something went wrong. If your boyfriend left you, then it was likely for one of two reasons: Either the relationship was becoming stale because there was not enough of you in it, or the relationship was getting too claustrophobic because there was too much of you in it. Either way, one of these causes is going to lead to relationship suicide. If you are asking "How can I get back together with my ex boyfriend", then you need to start looking at which of these led to the break up so you can act accordingly.

Whatever the issue is that chiefly contributed to the split, it was probably either something that you did, or something that you didn't do. It may be harsh to look at things this way, but that is simply how it usually works. The person who was broken up with either did, or did not do something and the person doing the splitting simply felt driven away. So now what happens, and how can you manage to get him to come back? The first step is to change whatever it was that drove him away in the first place.

You need to sit down and really take a hard look at your situation. What could have led to the breakup? Which of these things were your fault, and which were not your fault?

Rule out the ones that were out of your control, since they continue to be out of your control, and focus on the things that you did do wrong, the ones that you can in fact change. If your biggest problem is something that you were responsible for and that you could change, then there is a very good chance that you can still get back together with him. However, you must be certain you really are willing to make the necessary changes to appeal to him again.


Just knowing how to get back together with your ex boyfriend is not enough. It won't happen unless you are willing to...
Take Action - NOW

What Went Wrong in the First Place?

Did you just experience a break up? Are you wondering how to go get an ex back? Almost nearly every adult as experienced some kind of a break up, and most just work on moving on rather than looking for a way to get an ex back. But if you are over playing the victim and want to put some work in to get an ex back, then there are options for you. Everyone deals with breakup, but does break up simply mean that you cannot get back together with your ex?

The fact is, 90 percent of the time there is no reason why you cannot get an ex back after a break up, providing that you know what steps are necessary to win your ex back. The first step in learning how to get an ex back is to determine what exactly happened that caused the break up. Even though you cannot go back into the past, and you cannot change what happened, you can learn from the mistakes that were made and you can try to learn and grow from the experiences.

The break up may have occurred because of a single event, or it may have occurred from behaviors that your ex could not deal with anymore. No matter what the reason was that led to the breakup, you need to get the specifics figured out so that you can deal with the situation if it should ever come up again. You can get an ex back if you know how, but if you want to make it work on a long term basis, you need to figure out what went wrong in the first place. This may take some time, and some real hard thought, but knowing what went wrong is the most important thing for long term success.

The next step in the process is to ensure that you are not coming off as a needy person. Everyone will feel like they cannot live without their ex, but there is no point in making this obvious. Instead, you should stay strong, and let your ex see that you are doing just fine by yourself. If you let everyone around you see your comfort and self confidence, then you will have a better chance of getting back together with your ex.

Trying to get back at your ex, or trying to make your ex jealous is not a good way to operate. In fact, these are some of the worst things that you can possibly do, because it will show your ex that he or she should simply move on because you already have. While you do want your ex to see that you're doing ok, you do not want it to inspire him or her to completely move on if your ideal scenario is to get back together. Let your ex see how strong and self confident you are, and they will feel inspired to get back together with you.
The Secrets Here

How Can I Get HER Back?

Sometimes when a relationship comes to an abrupt end, either one or both parties involved may still be in doubt that the end is really the end, and this is especially true when a relationship is new. Some men simply cannot accept the fact that their girlfriend walked away. Therefore, they find themselves still hoping she'll still be there in the morning and that it was all a dream. Are you asking "How can I get back together with my ex girlfriend", it is important that you create a plan regarding how to do it.

In order to get back together with your ex girlfriend, there are numerous steps to take. Here are some of the tips that you should keep in mind when working through this process.

- There is always a second chance for everyone, so it's not impossible for you to get back together with your ex girlfriend. But first, you should ask yourself some questions Do you still love her? Do you really want her back? Why? Are you trying to get her back because you don't want to be alone, or you don't believe you should have been dumped? If you are looking to get back with your ex for reasons other than love, you may be playing a dangerous game that would be better off avoided.

- Do not appear desperate or needy to your girlfriend if your priority is "how can I get back together with my ex girlfriend?" Although you may feel desperate, and you may really want her back, you absolutely need to control your emotions, keeping them to yourself. If you cannot help them, then it may be wise to talk to your friends or family so you can cry your heart out where she cannot see. Do not beg or cry in front of your girlfriend, however, and absolutely do not stalk her.

- Learn how to control your feelings, forgetting about self pity and instead working on the positive aspects of working things through with your ex. If you appear too needy, or if you come off as too desperate, she may end up avoiding you even more.

- Keep the communication lines with your ex open. She may have ended the relationship, but you just need to make her feel like communication lines are open and that you want to be civil. You do not have to be the one initiating the conversation, but you should be willing to say hello and have a conversation occasionally with her, keeping in touch casually.

- Above all else, analyze what went awry with the relationship. There must have been a problem that led to the end of the relationship, so find out what the problem was if you want to get back together with your ex. Find out what caused the arguments, of which of her needs weren't being met, and work on rectifying those issues.
Plan NOW

5 Simple Ways to Get Back at Your Ex - Like an Adult

Relationships are fragile bonds that need to be built up and maintained in order to keep them healthy and allow them to flourish. Unfortunately, break ups do happen, and they are nerve wracking, stressful and frustrating. If you are involved in a relationship that breaks up, you may be thinking that you want to get back at your ex but is this really the best step to take? One of the most influential ways that you can actually get back at your ex will not only put your ex in an interesting predicament, but it may also repair the relationship by showing your ex how important you are and were to them. So not only are these 5 tips to get back at your ex but they are also excellent methods for getting your ex back as well.

1 - Be strong. No one needs the needy, and this saying applies very well when it comes to broken up relationships. You need to stop begging, clinging or exhibiting the behavior of someone who is feeling desperate. Let your ex think that you have moved on just fine without them by acting strong and moving on. When you've moved on, your ex will realize that they have not.

2 - Minimize communication. Closing the doors of communication may appear counterintuitive when your primary focus is to rekindle things, but it is one of the most important steps when getting back at your ex or getting your ex back. Take a break from your ex, close off communication, and let him or her stew for a little while without any contact. This will allow your ex to clear his or her mind and realize how valuable your relationship was.

3 - Be flexible. Do not be forceful with your ex, demanding that they move out, or pick their things up by a certain date. Be flexible, be a listener and a sympathizer. Your ex will be surprised when they see this side of you, and it may inspire them to build the lines of communication that were lacking when the breakup came into play.

4 - Get the heck out! This is no time for you to be alone. Call your friends and get out of the house. Develop a social network and enjoy some entertainment in your life. This may not mean you need to date, or even pay attention to the opposite sex, but you do need to be getting out and enjoying your time with your friends. Not only will this be therapeutic for you, but it will also help convince your ex that they lost a gem.

5 - Simply be yourself. There was a really good reason for why you and your ex had a relationship to begin with, so go back to being yourself and let your ex remember why they loved you in the first place. This renewed self perception of your own self will surely rub off on your ex as well.
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How to Keep a Confident Attitude after a Relationship Breakup

Although a breakup with a boyfriend or with a girlfriend can be really depressing, it does not need to mean that the relationship is over. Even if the breakup should suddenly leave you feeling confusion and loneliness, you may still feel really eager to heal the wounds and jump right back in to that relationship with your ex. If you are asking yourself "How can I get my ex back?", then there are some things you need to know. If you learn how to react following a break up, and you become aware of how not to strain the relationship even further, then getting ex back will be easier than ever.

It can seem hard to keep up a cheerful attitude throughout your day following a breakup, but it is believed by relationship experts, that an optimistic and confident attitude can go a long way. Here are some of the ways that a confident attitude can answer the question "how can I get my ex back?"

Keep your confidence - If you are asking "how can I get my ex back?", then you should remain confident. Rather than going around feeling gloomy, try to find ways that you can keep yourself occupied and happy. Keep the depression out of your demeanor. Allow your ex boyfriend or girlfriend to know that you are strong and that you are more than capable of handling such an emotional situation, and also that you are capable of surviving on your own as well.

Remain socially active - If getting your ex back is your primary focus, surround yourself with well wishers, positive attitudes and good friends. Show your ex that people appreciate you, and that they love having you around. As more people begin to feel good about your presence in their lives, your ex will begin to see you in a completely new light. He or she will realize that yes, you are a good person that they simply cannot afford to let go of. This is one of the best ways to let your ex notice you in a new light.

Maintain a good appearance - Another solution to "How can I get my ex back?" is not to let your appearance reflect your situation. You need to pay attention to every detail of your looks, including your clothes, your make up, your hair, your stride, your shoes and even your voice. It can be hard to act happy or to take care of yourself following a bad breakup, but this is one of the best ways that you can let your ex know that you are doing just fine, and do not need to beg for his or her sympathy. You are going to get back together like adults who are mature and responsible if you are going to get back together at all.
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How can I really tell – if my Ex wants me back?

If your ex is showing you a little bit of interest, or seems more interested in going out and spending time with you more than before, or if you notice signs that your ex is trying to flirt with you, then it's okay to be a little hopeful but you need to avoid jumping the gun. Are you asking yourself "does my ex want to get back with me"?

These are definitely very common signs that your ex is interested in getting you back. But even if you want to get back with your ex, you should not simply jump into things. The best way to play things is to play hard to get (in moderation), which is probably what your ex will best respond to anyway. If you simply jump into things full force, then you may find your ex pushing you back again. In fact, if your ex is giving indications that he or she wants you back, then the odds are, it was you playing hard to get that led to the renewed interest in the first place.

Usually when you break up with your ex, or he or she breaks up with you, there is a natural level of missing one another, or longing to get back together. This is especially true following a relationship of a year or longer. Your ex is probably going to miss you no matter what, because of how many memories were shared together during this period of time. But there are other emotions that come into play including past regrets. If you are wondering "does my ex want to get back with me" the odds are that your ex may be thinking the same thing for the same reasons.

Sometimes when an ex shows interest again following a break up however, it is only a game. They may see that you love them, and they may simply be trying to get attention, without actually intending to get you back. So, unless your ex really seems genuinely interested in spending time with you, they may just be passing the time because they have no other prospects on the horizon. And worst of all they may see this as away to get revenge for some perceived wrong. This is why it is important not to jump the gun, and why you should focus on reading into the situation before you act on it.

This is common, and a lot of people find themselves wondering "does my ex want to get back with me?", but the truth is, its better to get a feel for the situation before you act. In reality, if your ex does want to get back with you, playing hard to get (in moderation) is the best scenario because it will prevent you from getting hurt if your ex is not really serious about getting back with you.
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